Poems found in toilets

(Courtesy of forwarded email from Donald)


Excellent poems by not so famous poets...
found on toilet doors and walls.......


THE 'FUTURE' IS IN YOUR HAND , HOLD IT GENTLY'


A budding poet trying his best...
Here I lie in stinky vapor,
Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger,
Or shall I be forced to use my finger.

Before he graduated to be a poet, he wrote this...
Here I sit
Broken hearted
Tried to shit
But only farted

Someone who had a different experience wrote,
You're lucky
You had your chance
I tried to fart,
And shit my pants!

Perhaps it's true that people find inspiration in toilets,
I came here
To shit and stink,
But all I do
Is sit and think.

There are also people who come in for a different purpose...
Some come here to sit and think,
Some come here to shit and stink,
But I come here to scratch my balls ,
And read the bullshit on the walls.....

Toilets walls also double as job advertisement space.......
(written high upon the wall)

If you can piss above this line, the Singapore Fire Department wants you.

(Ministry of Environment advertisement.)
We aim to please!
You aim too! Please

On the inside of a toilet door:
Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout the entire performance.

And finally, this should teach some a lesson... Sign seen at a restaurant:
The hands that clean these toilets also make your food...please aim properly.

Found in my school toilet
Come one come all come and see my balls
One big one small hanging on the wall

Cant hold it in 憋不住了

(Courtesy of forwarded email from Tom)（感谢Tom转寄电邮）

還是有兩個機會

（感谢 Donald 转寄电邮）


有點像達賴喇嘛說的西藏諺語：「能解決的事，不必去擔心；不能解決的事，擔心也沒用。」

希望大家在努力與忙碌之餘,也能換個角度去看待事情.....


有個年輕人，屆逢兵役年齡，抽籤的結果，正好抽中上上籤，最艱苦的兵種--海軍陸戰隊。年輕人為此鎮日憂心重重，幾乎已到了茶不思、飯不想的地步。

年輕人深具智慧的祖父，見到自己的孫子這付模樣，便尋思要好好開導他--

老祖父：「孩子啊，沒什麼好擔心的。當了海軍陸戰隊，到部隊中，還有兩個機會，一個是內勤職務、另一個是外勤職務。如果你分發到內勤單位，也就什麼好擔心的了！」

年輕人問道：「那，若是被分發到外勤單位呢？」

老祖父：「那還有兩個機會，一個是留在本島，另一個是分發外島。如果你分發在本島，也不用擔心呀！」

年輕人又問：「那，若是分發到外島呢？」

老祖父：「那還是有兩個機會，一個是後方，另一個是分發到最前線。如果你留在外島的後方單位，也是很輕鬆的！」

年輕人再問：「那，若是分發到最前線呢？」

老祖父：「那還是有兩個機會，一個是站站衛兵，平安退伍；另一個是會遇上意外事故。如果你能平安退伍，又有什麼好怕的！」

年輕人問：「那麼，若是遇上意外事故呢？」

老祖父：「那還是有兩個機會，一個是受輕傷，可能送回本島；另一個是受了重傷，可能不治。如果你受了輕傷，送回本島，也不用擔心呀！」

年輕人最恐懼的部分來了，他顫聲問：「那......若是遇上後者呢？」

老祖父大笑：「若是遇上那種情況，你人都死了，還有什麼好擔心的？倒是我要擔心，那種白髮人送黑髮人的痛苦場面，可不是好玩的喔！」

人生擁有的，是不斷的抉擇。端看您是用什麼態度，去看待這些有賴您決定的無數機會。能夠綜觀每件事情、每個問題的正反兩面(或許有更多面)，您將發現，內心最深沉的恐懼，也在所有狀況明朗了解之後，將會自行化為烏有。

PS.您也有兩個機會，是將這封信轉寄與別人分享，或是深深內省，獨自收納!