Moishe Plotnik's Laundry

(Courtesy of Francis' email)


A true story of Chinese elder in China Town.

Walking through San Francisco's Chinatown, a tourist from the Midwest was enjoying the artistry of all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners......

When he turned a corner and saw a building with the sign 'Moishe Plotnik's Laundry'.

'Moishe Plotnik?' he wondered. 'How does that belong in Chinatown?'

He walked into the shop and saw a fairly standard looking drycleaner, althoughhe could see that the proprietors were clearly aware of the uniqueness of the store name as there were baseball hats, T-shirts and coffee mugs emblazoned with the logo 'Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry.' The tourist selected a coffee cup as a conversation piece to take back to his office. Behind the counter was a smiling old Chinese gentleman who thanked him for his purchase.

The tourist asked, 'Can you explain how this place got a name like 'Moishe Plotnik's Laundry?'

The old man answered, 'Ah..Evleebody ask me dat. It name of owner.'

Looking around, the tourist asked, 'Is he here now?'

'Its me, Me him!' replied the old man.

'Really? You're Chinese. How did you ever get a Jewish name like Moishe Plotnik?'

'It simple' said the old man. 'Many, many year ago I come to thes country. I standing in line at Documentation Center of Immigration.'

'Man in front of me was Jewish man from Poland.'

'Lady at counter look at him and say to him, 'What your name?'
He say to her, 'Moishe Plotnik.'

Then she look at me and say, 'What your name?'

I say, 'Sam Ting.'

You Reap What You Sow

(Courtesy of Kam's email)


Do you know who is observing our every move...?



A Christian

Several years ago, a preacher from out-of-state accepted a call to a church in Houston, Texas. Some weeks after he arrived, he had an occasion to ride the bus from his home to the downtown area. When he sat down, he discovered that the driver had accidentally given him a quarter too much change.. As he considered what to do, he thought to himself, 'You'd better give the quarter back. It would be wrong to keep it.' Then he thought, 'Oh, forget it, it's only a quarter. Who would worry about this little amount? Anyway, the bus company gets too much fare; they will never miss it. Accept it as a 'gift from God' and keep quiet.'

When his stop came, he paused momentarily at the door, and then he handed the quarter to the driver and said, 'Here,you gave me too much change ..'

The driver, with a smile, replied, 'Aren't you the new preacher in town?'

'Yes' he replied.

'Well, I have been thinking a lot lately about going somewhere to worship. I just wanted to see what you would do if I gave you too much change. I'll see you at church on Sunday.'

When the preacher stepped off of the bus, he literally grabbed the nearest light pole, held on, and said, 'Oh God, I almost sold your Son for a quarter.'

Our lives are the only Bible some people will ever read. This is a really scary example of how much people watch us as Christians, and will put us to the test! Always be on guard -- and remember -- You carry the name of Christ on your shoulders when you call yourself 'Christian.'

Watch your thoughts ; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits..
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

Snagged and sharing - Famous Faces

(Courtesy of Francis' email)

I can't imagine how he does this. Interesting...

Occasionally, you come across an artist whose skill and dexterity in the practice of their art can leave you breathless with admiration. When a simple slip could ruin many previous hours of painstaking effort, you cannot help but admire the dedication and talent of the person who willingly takes those chances time and again to produce stunning sculptural works, especially when such works employ recycled materials as their base.

Something that many of us dread is the thump on the door mat announcing the arrival of the new phone book. What to do with the old ones, so unwieldy and heavy; they have us scratching our heads in frustration. One man in the USA decided that such waste was ideal for a kind of artwork that at the time was quite unusual. Out searching for scrap wood to use in sculpting. Alex Queral thought that discarded phone books could be used in carving.

That was back in the mid 1990s and since then, 51-year-old Alex has gained a formidable reputation for his stunning portrayals of famous people, carved meticulously out of those old directories. He stars off by drawing freehand the face of some celebrity or other. He then places this over the used phone book and uses the drawing as a template for the intricate process of carving that image into the pages of the book.

This can take a couple of weeks of painstaking attention to detail, as Alex carves quite literally through thousands of pages with razor blades or an artist’s scalpel, having to take great care at all times, because a wrong move can easily lead to his having to start all over again. As Alex says:
"It can be quite tense work sometimes because it takes a long time to finish and when you cut something away you can't get it back again. Nearing the end of the carving and then suddenly having it ruined by a careless cut can be pretty crushing. You have to start all over again."

Based in Philadelphia, Alex works part-time in a natural foods shop and currently produces two carvings per month, painting them with transparent acrylic paint upon completion to make them durable and give them a glossy finish. He has produced heads of many iconic people and claims that some are far easier than others simply because their faces have an indefinable quality that Alex finds more appealing. High on his list of favourite subjects for his artworks were both Jack Nicholson and John Goodman, whose faces he found really stood out from others around them.

There have also been portraits of President Obama, Clint Eastwood and the Dalai Lama, among many others in the portfolio of this talented artist, who sees his art as an acceptable form of recycling. In carving and painting heads from phone directories, Alex feels he is celebrating the individual lost in the anonymity of the thousands of names within it, creating an ‘object of longevity’ out of something that otherwise gets discarded every year.

He felt that the human head was, for him, a natural choice because of its inherent expressiveness, and he carves the faces from phone books to achieve the three-dimensional quality, which he feels enhances the feeling of the pieces as an object rather than a picture. He is correct, because his sculpted faces are certainly eye-catching and memorable, wonderful testaments to the artistic abilities of this amazing part time talent. Excellent.

RECALL NOTICE

(Courtesy of Francis' email)


This is amazing..... and brilliant ! Never heard it put quite like this before.


RECALL NOTICE:

The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.

This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed "Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality," or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.

Some of the symptoms include :
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion

The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.

The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.

The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.

Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.

No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control

Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus.

DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your attention!

- GOD

P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by 'Knee mail'!

Because He Lives!

Better to be a Lion in India than a Monkey elsewhere 人离乡贱

(Courtesy of Terry's email)

In a poor zoo of India, a lion was frustrated as he was offered not more than 1 kg meat a day.

The lion thought its prayers were answered when one US Zoo Manager visited the zoo and requested the zoo management to shift the lion to the US Zoo.

The lion was so happy and started thinking of a central air cond environment, a goat or two every day and a US Green Card also. On its first day after arrival, the lion was offered a big bag, sealed very nicely for breakfast.

The lion opened it quickly but was shocked to see that it contained few bananas. Then the lion thought that may be they cared too much for him as they were worried about his stomach as he had recently shifted from India.

The next day the same thing happened. On the third day again the same food bag of bananas was delivered.

The lion was so furious, it stopped the delivery boy and blasted at him, 'Don't you know I am the lion...king of the Jungle..., what's wrong with your management?, what nonsense is this?, why are you delivering bananas to me?'

The delivery boy politely said, 'Sir, I know you are the king of the jungle but .. Did you know that you have been brought here on a monkey's visa!'

Moral of Story : Better to be a Lion in India than a Monkey elsewhere !

Great Wall of China 中国长城

(Courtesy of TO Lau's email)

Good or Bad, hard to say 一切都是最好的安排

(English) (Courtesy of emails from KC Tan [9/2009] and Francis [10/2010]) (Amended on 1st November 2010)
(中文版) (感谢 TO Lau 转寄电邮[10/2007])


Once upon a time, there was a king. The king liked Joseph, one of his followers very much because he was very wise and always gave very useful advice.

Therefore the king took him along wherever he went.

One day, the king was bitten by a dog, the finger was injured and the wound was getting worse. He asked Joseph if that was a bad sign. Joseph answered, Good or bad, hard to say'.

Finally, the king's finger got worst, it had to be amputate. The king asked Joseph again if that was a bad sign. Again, he gave the same answer, 'Good or bad, hard to say'. The king became very angry and sent him to prison.

One day, the king went hunting in the jungle. He got excited when he was on the chase of a deer. Deeper and deeper he went inside the jungle. At last he was lost. To make thing worse, he was captured by the native people lived in the jungle.

They wanted to sacrifice him to their god. But when they noticed that the king had one finger missing, they released him as he was imperfect thus not suitable for sacrifice. The king managed to get back to his palace after all that. And he finally understood Joseph's wise quote, 'Good or bad, hard to say'. If he hadn't lost one finger, he could have been killed by the native people.

He ordered Joseph to be released and rewarded him profusely. But to the king amazement, Joseph was not angry at him at all. Instead, he said, 'It wasn't a bad thing that you locked me up, your honour.' Why? Because if the king hadn't locked him up, he would have brought him along to the jungle. As the native found that the king was not suitable, they would have used Joseph. Again, the quote 'Good or bad, hard to say' stands.

The moral of the story:

Everything that happens in this world, there is no absolute good or bad.
Sometimes good things turned out to be bad things eventually, while bad things become a godly gain.

Whatever good things that happen, take it in stride, but don't hold too tight to it, give thank to God.Whatever bad things that happen, don't feel too sad or despair, eventually it might not be total bad after all.

If one can understand this, this may be said as "In everything give thanks".


從前有一個國家，地不大，人不多，但是人民過著悠閒快樂的生活，因為他們有一位不喜歡做事的國王和一位不喜歡做官的宰相。

國王沒有什麼不良嗜好，除了打獵以外，最喜歡與宰相微服私訪民隱。宰相除了處理國務以外，就是陪著國王下鄉巡視，如果是他一個人的話，他最喜歡研究宇宙人生的真理，他最常掛在嘴邊的一句話就是「一切都是最好的安排」。

有一次，國王興高采烈的到大草原打獵，隨從們帶著數十條獵犬，聲勢浩蕩。國王的身體保養得非常好，筋骨結實，而且肌膚泛光，看起來就有一國之君的氣派。隨從看見國王騎在馬上，威風凜凜地追逐一頭花豹，都不禁讚歎國王勇武過人！

花豹奮力逃命，國王緊追不捨，一直追到花豹的速度減慢時，國王才從容不迫彎弓搭箭，瞄準花豹，嗖的一聲，利箭像閃電似的，一眨眼就飛過草原，不偏不倚鑽入花豹的頸子，花豹慘嘶一聲，仆倒在地。

國王很開心，他眼看花豹躺在地上許久都毫無動靜，一時失去戒心，居然在隨從尚未趕上時，就下馬檢視花豹。誰想到，花豹就是在等待這一瞬間，使出最後的力氣，突然跳起來向國王撲過來。國王一愣，看見花豹張開血盆大口咬來，他下意識地閃了一下，心想：「完了！」

還好，隨從及時趕上，立刻發箭射入花豹的咽喉，國王覺得小指一涼，花豹就悶不吭聲跌在地上，這次真的死了。隨從忐忑不安走上來詢問國王是否無恙，國王看看手，小指頭被花豹咬掉小半截，血流不止，隨行的御醫立刻上前包紮。雖然傷勢不算嚴重，但國王的興致破壞光了，本來國王還想找人來責罵一番，可是想想這次只怪自己冒失，還能怪誰？所以悶不吭聲，大夥兒就黯然回宮去了。

回宮以後，國王越想越不痛快，就找了宰相來飲酒解愁。宰相知道了這事後，一邊舉酒敬國王，一邊微笑說：「大王啊！少了一小塊肉總比少了一條命來得好吧！想開一點，一切都是最好的安排！」

國王一聽，悶了半天的不快終於找到宣洩的機會。他凝視宰相說：「嘿！你真是大膽！你真的認為一切都是最好的安排嗎？」。宰相發覺國王十分憤怒，卻也毫不在意說：「大王，真的，如果我們能夠超越『執著』，確確實實，一切都是最好的安排！」

國王說：「如果寡人把你關進監獄，這也是最好的安排？」。宰相微笑說：「如果是這樣，我也深信這是最好的安排。」。國王說：「如果寡人吩咐侍衛把你拖出去砍了，這也是最好的安排？」。宰相依然微笑，彷彿國王在說一件與他毫不相干的事。「如果是這樣，我也深信這是最好的安排。」

國王勃然大怒，大手用力一拍，兩名侍衛立刻近前，他們聽見國王說：「你們馬上把宰相抓出去斬了！」。侍衛愣住，一時不知如何反應。國王說：「還不快點，等什麼？」。侍衛如夢初醒，上前架起宰相，就往門外走去。

國王忽然有點後悔，他大叫一聲說：「慢著，先抓去關起來！」。宰相回頭對他一笑，說：「這也是最好的安排！」。國王大手一揮，兩名侍衛就架著宰相走出去了。

過了一個月，國王養好傷，打算像以前一樣找宰相一塊兒微服私巡，可是想到是自己親口把他關入監獄裏，一時也放不下身段釋放宰相，嘆了口氣，就自己獨自出遊了。走著走著，來到一處偏遠的山林，忽然從山上衝下一隊臉上塗著紅黃油彩的蠻人，三兩下就把他五花大綁，帶回高山上。

國王這時才想到今天正是滿月，這一帶有一支原始部落，每逢月圓之日就會下山尋找祭祀滿月女神的犧牲品。他哀歎一聲，這下子真的是沒救了。其實心裏卻很想跟蠻人說：我乃這裏的國王，放了我，我就賞賜你們金山銀海！可是嘴巴被破布塞住，連話都說不出口。

當他看見自己被帶到一口比人還高的大鍋爐，柴火正熊熊燃燒，更是臉色慘白。大祭司現身，當眾脫光國王的衣服，露出他細皮嫩肉的龍體，大祭司嘖嘖稱奇，想不到現在還能找到這麼完美無暇的祭品！原來，今天要祭祀的滿月女神，正是「完美」的象徵，所以，祭祀的牲品醜一點、黑一點、矮一點都沒有關係，就是不能殘缺。就在這時，大祭司終於發現國王的左手小指頭少了小半截，他忍不住咬牙切齒咒罵了半天，忍痛下令說：「把這個廢物趕走，另外再找一個！」

脫困的國王大喜若狂，飛奔回宮，立刻叫人釋放宰相，在御花園設宴，為自己保住一命、也為宰相重獲自由而慶祝。國王一邊向宰相敬酒說：「愛卿啊！你說的真是一點也不錯，果然，一切都是最好的安排！如果不是被花豹咬一口，今天連命都沒了。」。宰相回敬國王，微笑說：「賀喜大王對人生的體驗又更上一層樓了。」。過了一會兒，國王忽然問宰相說：「寡人救回一命，固然是『一切都是最好的安排』，可是你無緣無故在監獄裏蹲了一個月，這又怎麼說呢？」

宰相慢條斯理喝下一口酒，才說：「大王！您將我關在監獄裏，確實也是最好的安排啊！」。他饒富深意看了國王一眼，舉杯說：「您想想看，如果我不是在監獄裏，那麼陪伴您微服私巡的人，不是我還會有誰呢？等到蠻人發現國王不適合拿來祭祀滿月女神時，誰會被丟進大鍋爐中烹煮呢？不是我還有誰呢？所以，我要為大王將我關進監獄而向您敬酒，您也救了我一命啊！」

國王忍不住哈哈大笑，朗聲說：「乾杯吧！果然沒錯，一切都是最好的安排。