廁所對聯

Is my time up?

A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience.

Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?"

God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth!

Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.

While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 43 years. Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"

God replied:

"I didn't recognize you!"

Cracked pot

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole, which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water, at the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.

After 2 years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house."

The old woman smiled , "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?" "That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house."

Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.

The Wooden Bowl

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year-old grandson.


The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered.

The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.


The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess.


'We must do something about father,' said the son. 'I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.'


So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl.


When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.


The four-year-old watched it all in silence.


One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor.


He asked the child sweetly, 'What are you making?' Just as sweetly, the boy responded, 'Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up. '


The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.


The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.


That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.


On a positive note, I've learned that, no matter what happens, how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.


I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles four things: a rainy day, the elderly, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.


I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as making a 'life.'


I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.


I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back sometimes.


I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you.


But, if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others, your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.


I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.


I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.


I've learned that every day, you should reach out and touch someone.


People love that human touch -- holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.


I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.

Birds "Air Show" in Scotland

In the Scottish town of Gretna Green, from late autumn to early spring you can watch the amazing bird "air show".

During the annual migration to wintering in Scotland, European starlings fly (sturnus vulgaris), driven by the frost from their homes in Russia and Scandinavia. Soaring, flocks of these birds, like great black clouds in the sky, forming bizarre shapes.

The annual migration of starlings recalls that winter is on its way: Each year the birds arrive here from colder places, and remain until spring. Their wintering habitat is located in the southern part of the British Isles, but birds are especially numerous in the small Scottish town of Gretna Green, where he made these pictures.

During the winter, starlings every day suit "air dances": approximately an hour before sunset with a flock of all neighborhoods of the hordes of birds.

During the winter every day at sunset a lot of starlings, "they go to dance" in the sky, executing collective pirouettes.

More than a million birds, flying along and across the great flocks, ignorant people can be easily mistaken for fast looming thundercloud.

Millions migrated from Russia and Scandinavia, to avoid the winter frost, the birds gather in flocks of incredible forms.

Scientists are not sure exactly how and why starlings make these celestial dance. Even complex algorithmic models can not explain acrobatic sketches of starlings, which change their direction for the one hundredth milliseconds to avoid a collision, but at the same time and predation.

Despite this display of power, the number of starlings in the UK in recent years has fallen considerably, possibly due to reduction of nesting sites. But the birds still live in rural pastures of Great Britain, going to sleep after" an evening of ballet."

Collective bird pirouette so impressive that in Gretna Green, attracts tourists to watch the evening "air show".

Many come here to witness the flying huge group of several thousand individuals, while they simultaneously repeated twists, parry and land on the ground, scattering over a large area.

Synchronously moving in the air, the birds create the amazing and sometimes amusing shapes.